Weird Guitars Fascinate Me


Weird guitars fascinate me. I was surfing online and came across a picture of one that looked like a machine gun. That one appealed to me. I wonder if I can take one of those on Southwest Airlines in my overhead storage bin. It’s a guitar, right? I travel with one all the time. Just because it has a scope on it doesn’t make it dangerous. Actually it would be good for finding that waitress the other night who never brought me a glass of water to the stage even though I had politely asked. Some even have a clip on the bottom like an AK-47. The AK-74 is actually a superior weapon but its getting off the subject of guitars… That faux clip could be my pez dispenser. If I could rig up a t-shirt cannon to hang underneath it like a grenade launcher that would be sweet. I could shoot t-shirts into the audience without committing a felony. I could be like Arnold Schwarzenegger in Predator dispensing intergalactic justice. Of course, they would be t-shirts. I wouldn’t want my bands logo on them in case I accidentally hit someone in the eye! All while shredding lead licks that only I and some larger breed of dogs could hear.


“Arnold Schwarzenegger in Predator dispensing intergalactic justice”

I still owe a t-shirt to Steve Seymor. He was the 1000th guitarist to friend us on our MySpace page. It was a milestone which was blurred by a couple thousand more that friended us within a short time. Steve – you are first in line- after me, my friends, relatives and fellow staff members, their friends and families and that one dude with the lazy eye… Don’t give up. I haven’t forgotten!

Back to the machine gun/sniper guitar that I want to get past airport security. The guitar strap lets you carry it like you are on the parade grounds of Camp Pendleton. Think Stanley Kubrick meets Eddie Van Halen, but instead of full metal jackets, Hanes t-shirts with pockets… The stock would be a storage container for extra pics and a mini mag-lite so I could see the knobs on my amp. Don’t get me started on that again! If I don’t post any articles for a while, and you see me on CNN being taken down by a SWAT team, it’s because I got one of those guitars and it turned out to be a really bad idea.

Twitter Digg Delicious Stumbleupon Technorati Facebook Email
Subscribe to SMG Podcasts!
Download the latest show
from iTunes >>>